Comments for A Reality Based Bipolar Disorder Blog http://bipolarresources.com/bipolarinformation A Community Blog For Families Or Friends Of People Who Have Loved Ones With Bi-Polar. A Reality-Based-Blog Maintained By Someone Who Has A Brother With BiPolar Disorder. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO LEAVE A COMMENT Tue, 06 Jan 2009 01:40:58 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 Comment on Share Your Story by holley http://bipolarresources.com/bipolarinformation/2008/07/15/share-your-story/#comment-12939 holley Sat, 06 Dec 2008 11:02:02 +0000 http://bipolarresources.com/bipolarinformation/?p=24#comment-12939 hello...this is the first time I have ever commented on a story or anything like this but stumbling upon this site I feel was NO couincedence....I can relate so much to the real life stories and videos that it sends chills down my spine.I can relate with your brother jerry,i am or at least i think I am based on facts on this blog,BIpoler.And you know today is the first time I can hosnestlly admit this.And i am scared...I am scared and embarresed.I am always apologizing for my actions OVER AND OVER AND OVER promising to be better promissing tha it was just a bad day,and i would feel like I was or am just totally off my rocker mood swings left and right coming in from left field for no reason or rigym at all.Hurtiing the ones around me who care.dening all that they have for me.THE LOVE.I often wonder when i will totlally hit rock bottom.I have not been able to face this problem of mine up close and personall.Becauce it seems to always contoll me.I dont know how to deal with it.And most of all how to pick up the peices of those whos hearts and feelings I have hurt done damage to....?I know people look at me and judge me say "that girl needs help" or "who holley,nah dont want to hang with her shes no fun,alwazys makiing stuff up in her head,what a drag!!!" worst of all I feel wrong wrong for being for being me.and now what?my life is twissting and turing goiing down hill.i am at my wits end.and so is the ones around me...hopefully things will look on the briter side,i guess they are already for I have found this website and fir this I am greatful.I know i can get the info I need.THnak you for letting me share.and for you jerry for sharing. your friend, holley hello…this is the first time I have ever commented on a story or anything like this but stumbling upon this site I feel was NO couincedence….I can relate so much to the real life stories and videos that it sends chills down my spine.I can relate with your brother jerry,i am or at least i think I am based on facts on this blog,BIpoler.And you know today is the first time I can hosnestlly admit this.And i am scared…I am scared and embarresed.I am always apologizing for my actions OVER AND OVER AND OVER promising to be better promissing tha it was just a bad day,and i would feel like I was or am just totally off my rocker mood swings left and right coming in from left field for no reason or rigym at all.Hurtiing the ones around me who care.dening all that they have for me.THE LOVE.I often wonder when i will totlally hit rock bottom.I have not been able to face this problem of mine up close and personall.Becauce it seems to always contoll me.I dont know how to deal with it.And most of all how to pick up the peices of those whos hearts and feelings I have hurt done damage to….?I know people look at me and judge me say “that girl needs help” or “who holley,nah dont want to hang with her shes no fun,alwazys makiing stuff up in her head,what a drag!!!” worst of all I feel wrong wrong for being for being me.and now what?my life is twissting and turing goiing down hill.i am at my wits end.and so is the ones around me…hopefully things will look on the briter side,i guess they are already for I have found this website and fir this I am greatful.I know i can get the info I need.THnak you for letting me share.and for you jerry for sharing.
your friend,
holley

]]> Comment on Input Needed, Bipolar and Wacky Weed. The Effects Are Horrible by Sean http://bipolarresources.com/bipolarinformation/2007/01/23/input-needed-bipolar-and-wacky-weed-the-effects-are-horrible/#comment-12686 Sean Sat, 25 Oct 2008 05:40:42 +0000 http://bipolarresources.com/bipolarinformation/2007/01/23/input-needed-bipolar-and-wacky-weed-the-effects-are-horrible/#comment-12686 So, I have quit smoking weed recently. I am not diagnosed as bi-polar but I can certainly tell you that I have had depressive episodes the most severe of which is what made it SO clear to me that I had to quit smoking. Now that I can once again think clearly I can look back and see that EVERY depressive episode was like a time delay of smoking weed. I would smoke and 1-3 months later I would become depressed or manic or just have rapid mood swings and feel totally out of control. I would quite literally feel schizophrenic and bi-polar. I've quit smoking and started talking to others who have quit smoking and many of them see the same pattern. There is new research coming out now in the field of psychology that shows marijuana as being a possible CAUSE for schizophrenia and Bi-polar. I can also tell you that while I was smoking weed I would defend it PASSIONATELY, there was no way my weed could be the cause (yet it is supposedly not addictive.) My sister who also used to smoke weed says it took her about a year of not smoking before her schizophrenic and bi-polar type symptoms went away. A lot of people I talk to about weed even some who still smoke it but feel they can't give it up think it has almost a mind of its own. I feel like I gained a lot spiritually and mind opening wise but I'm done because the depression isn't worth it. I quit smoking about four months ago after my most intensive smoking period and feel into a depression unlike any other before (and at the time i was blaming anything but the weed for the cause of my depression including a relationship i didn't even want to be in)... after about two months of being horribly depressed I started to feel a little better, I would still have rapid cycling mood swings. I would be ok one hour then down for two or some other such pattern. By this time though I could think clearly enough to know that this was not normal for me... it was like removing a fog that had been placed over my life. It steadily gets better every day and I am confident that as long as I stay off weed I will be able to get back close to what I used to be. I am glad I didn't smoke intensively for very long because I think weed makes you think that you NEED it to be happy. I used to think that way for sure but never ever thought I was addicted til i stopped using. The worst part is feeling like this reality just doesn't matter, I lost friends I pushed family away I was irritable and impatient and gave up all my hobbies and my job. None of it mattered anymore because weed showed me the TRUTH of this reality and in that truth everything we do here doesn't matter in the end except for what we learn and who we love. The latter of which was ironic because on weed I became so insecure I was virtually impossible to love. Who knows maybe the "profound" thoughts I had on weed were enlightening but the fact of the matter is it made me not want to be in this existence but I am here now and not smoking weed lets me enjoy this moment... the here and now. If what people have been telling me is true I have another eight months of much more tolerable hell til I am out of the woods. The worst part is over which is a blessing. A side note one of the people who convinced me to stop smoking weed describes himself as a former bi-polar. He smoked for about 3 years and was diagnosed as Bi-polar a year into his smoking. He self medicated because he thought it helped and eventually decided to give it up. He says about three years later he felt normal again and hasn't had a depressive episode since that time period. He claims weed caused his bi-polar. I am tempted to agree with him. So, I have quit smoking weed recently. I am not diagnosed as bi-polar but I can certainly tell you that I have had depressive episodes the most severe of which is what made it SO clear to me that I had to quit smoking. Now that I can once again think clearly I can look back and see that EVERY depressive episode was like a time delay of smoking weed. I would smoke and 1-3 months later I would become depressed or manic or just have rapid mood swings and feel totally out of control. I would quite literally feel schizophrenic and bi-polar. I’ve quit smoking and started talking to others who have quit smoking and many of them see the same pattern. There is new research coming out now in the field of psychology that shows marijuana as being a possible CAUSE for schizophrenia and Bi-polar. I can also tell you that while I was smoking weed I would defend it PASSIONATELY, there was no way my weed could be the cause (yet it is supposedly not addictive.) My sister who also used to smoke weed says it took her about a year of not smoking before her schizophrenic and bi-polar type symptoms went away. A lot of people I talk to about weed even some who still smoke it but feel they can’t give it up think it has almost a mind of its own. I feel like I gained a lot spiritually and mind opening wise but I’m done because the depression isn’t worth it. I quit smoking about four months ago after my most intensive smoking period and feel into a depression unlike any other before (and at the time i was blaming anything but the weed for the cause of my depression including a relationship i didn’t even want to be in)… after about two months of being horribly depressed I started to feel a little better, I would still have rapid cycling mood swings. I would be ok one hour then down for two or some other such pattern. By this time though I could think clearly enough to know that this was not normal for me… it was like removing a fog that had been placed over my life. It steadily gets better every day and I am confident that as long as I stay off weed I will be able to get back close to what I used to be. I am glad I didn’t smoke intensively for very long because I think weed makes you think that you NEED it to be happy. I used to think that way for sure but never ever thought I was addicted til i stopped using. The worst part is feeling like this reality just doesn’t matter, I lost friends I pushed family away I was irritable and impatient and gave up all my hobbies and my job. None of it mattered anymore because weed showed me the TRUTH of this reality and in that truth everything we do here doesn’t matter in the end except for what we learn and who we love. The latter of which was ironic because on weed I became so insecure I was virtually impossible to love. Who knows maybe the “profound” thoughts I had on weed were enlightening but the fact of the matter is it made me not want to be in this existence but I am here now and not smoking weed lets me enjoy this moment… the here and now. If what people have been telling me is true I have another eight months of much more tolerable hell til I am out of the woods. The worst part is over which is a blessing.

A side note one of the people who convinced me to stop smoking weed describes himself as a former bi-polar. He smoked for about 3 years and was diagnosed as Bi-polar a year into his smoking. He self medicated because he thought it helped and eventually decided to give it up. He says about three years later he felt normal again and hasn’t had a depressive episode since that time period. He claims weed caused his bi-polar. I am tempted to agree with him.

]]> Comment on Input Needed, Bipolar and Wacky Weed. The Effects Are Horrible by JD http://bipolarresources.com/bipolarinformation/2007/01/23/input-needed-bipolar-and-wacky-weed-the-effects-are-horrible/#comment-12307 JD Fri, 10 Oct 2008 03:51:15 +0000 http://bipolarresources.com/bipolarinformation/2007/01/23/input-needed-bipolar-and-wacky-weed-the-effects-are-horrible/#comment-12307 Im very srry bout ur brother, but, I dont think its the weed, as I smoke it, an I have bipolar, an I do it cuz its funn(I dont do it cuz I have bipolar or cuz I NEED it, most pplz misunderstand weed, an that its not always a bad thing is using right!), but thats besides the point, I dont get like that at all, an he HAS to b doin sumthin else, cuz weed makes u HUNGRY, not full, an personaly I would say its cuz he doesnt take his meds is y he gets like that, I no if if I didnt take my meds an didnt eat an sleep, I would get very agary, agumeitive, ect.,..., matter of fact weed makes u tired as crap, so my point here is hes got to b doin sumthin else an him not doin his stuff right is making him cycle. Im very srry bout ur brother, but, I dont think its the weed, as I smoke it, an I have bipolar, an I do it cuz its funn(I dont do it cuz I have bipolar or cuz I NEED it, most pplz misunderstand weed, an that its not always a bad thing is using right!), but thats besides the point, I dont get like that at all, an he HAS to b doin sumthin else, cuz weed makes u HUNGRY, not full, an personaly I would say its cuz he doesnt take his meds is y he gets like that, I no if if I didnt take my meds an didnt eat an sleep, I would get very agary, agumeitive, ect.,…, matter of fact weed makes u tired as crap, so my point here is hes got to b doin sumthin else an him not doin his stuff right is making him cycle.

]]> Comment on Input Needed, Bipolar and Wacky Weed. The Effects Are Horrible by Nick http://bipolarresources.com/bipolarinformation/2007/01/23/input-needed-bipolar-and-wacky-weed-the-effects-are-horrible/#comment-11960 Nick Sat, 20 Sep 2008 20:48:46 +0000 http://bipolarresources.com/bipolarinformation/2007/01/23/input-needed-bipolar-and-wacky-weed-the-effects-are-horrible/#comment-11960 Many of you are inferring that this person's brother has a drug abuse problem, but he/she specifically stated in his/her writing that he only uses every few months. I have bipolar disorder, and will occasionally partake in a smoke, yes it makes me feel a little stranger than normal for a few days but when it comes to mood, I've felt it all. For some people with bipolar disorder, marijuana is somewhat of a miracle, it gives them the strength to get out of the bed in the morning. All I'm saying is that just because this person has had a bad experience with bipolar and pot, doesn't mean everyone will. In fact, many will have the opposite. Many of you are inferring that this person’s brother has a drug abuse problem, but he/she specifically stated in his/her writing that he only uses every few months.

I have bipolar disorder, and will occasionally partake in a smoke, yes it makes me feel a little stranger than normal for a few days but when it comes to mood, I’ve felt it all. For some people with bipolar disorder, marijuana is somewhat of a miracle, it gives them the strength to get out of the bed in the morning.

All I’m saying is that just because this person has had a bad experience with bipolar and pot, doesn’t mean everyone will. In fact, many will have the opposite.

]]> Comment on Input Needed, Bipolar and Wacky Weed. The Effects Are Horrible by sharon http://bipolarresources.com/bipolarinformation/2007/01/23/input-needed-bipolar-and-wacky-weed-the-effects-are-horrible/#comment-11173 sharon Sun, 24 Aug 2008 20:52:44 +0000 http://bipolarresources.com/bipolarinformation/2007/01/23/input-needed-bipolar-and-wacky-weed-the-effects-are-horrible/#comment-11173 My son with ADD and "mood instabibity disorder" becomes verbally and physically abusive when he engages in the "recreational activity." His so called "friends" know this and continue to engage him. I don't blame them for his choices. I blame them for their choice to assist my son in his downward spiral. He was just withdrawn from his private school for his senior year due to the uncontrolled rages. He currently has no job, no car, no school and no home. He left with a 3.5 GPA. He is under psychiatric and medical care that is effective when taken as prescribed. As soon as he starts "partying" he goes off his meds, his personal life spins out of control. He is 18 and I am helplessly watching the demise of his promising future. Please pray for us. Distraught mom My son with ADD and “mood instabibity disorder” becomes verbally and physically abusive when he engages in the “recreational activity.” His so called “friends” know this and continue to engage him. I don’t blame them for his choices. I blame them for their choice to assist my son in his downward spiral. He was just withdrawn from his private school for his senior year due to the uncontrolled rages. He currently has no job, no car, no school and no home. He left with a 3.5 GPA. He is under psychiatric and medical care that is effective when taken as prescribed. As soon as he starts “partying” he goes off his meds, his personal life spins out of control. He is 18 and I am helplessly watching the demise of his promising future. Please pray for us.

Distraught mom

]]> Comment on Share Your Story by Jerry Wipf http://bipolarresources.com/bipolarinformation/2008/07/15/share-your-story/#comment-10738 Jerry Wipf Mon, 11 Aug 2008 14:06:40 +0000 http://bipolarresources.com/bipolarinformation/?p=24#comment-10738 @linny: It is there now... Thanks so much for sharing... @linny: It is there now… Thanks so much for sharing…

]]> Comment on Share Your Story by linny http://bipolarresources.com/bipolarinformation/2008/07/15/share-your-story/#comment-10712 linny Mon, 11 Aug 2008 00:35:52 +0000 http://bipolarresources.com/bipolarinformation/?p=24#comment-10712 I shared my story but do not see it here. I shared my story but do not see it here.

]]> Comment on Share Your Story by Linny http://bipolarresources.com/bipolarinformation/2008/07/15/share-your-story/#comment-10497 Linny Sun, 03 Aug 2008 22:12:02 +0000 http://bipolarresources.com/bipolarinformation/?p=24#comment-10497 I am glad to have found this website. I am 45 and have recently been diagnosed with Bipolar. A few years back I became very ill and found myself on a roller coaster ride that I hope to end sometime this century. I think I have been BP for a very long time but was treated for depression instead. This is horrible as anti-depressants are very bad for BP. My children are my reason for writing this post. They have endured me there whole lives as a single mother. They are the most beautiful and patient people I know. They have watched this roller coaster spin out of control and back in for far too long. For the most part we made it pretty good we had our ups and downs but it seems I held it together. Since my illness I have had 2 really bad manic episodes, two attempts at suicide, two hospitalizations. The last suicide attempt was made from my life being so out of control, losing the respect of the person I love more than life itself and an attempt for a relationship. The person I referred to is my oldest child, she has cut me out of her life as well as my grandkids who mean the world to me. You see people with untreated BP do horrible things and it seems we hurt the ones we love the most. We do not intentionally do these things, Lord help us, but it seems to me like it was out of my hands when I was in ones of these moods. I am not trying to assume no blame cause this would be wrong but if you have lived with a BP person you surely understand just what we are capable of doing. Before I became ill I had a thriving cleaning business and was at the top of my game. Now I sit living with my son because this disease has reeked such havoc in my life. I have not slept in 3 nights probably ed up in hospital again. They just recently diagnosed me. They still have me on an anti -depressant cause I was so depressed. I think I came here for some support. I have had no real relationship because we BP people can be quite mean and nasty given half a chance and who would want to stay around if they didn't have too.This is just a look at BP from a person who has it. Linny I am glad to have found this website. I am 45 and have recently been diagnosed with Bipolar. A few years back I became very ill and found myself on a roller coaster ride that I hope to end sometime this century. I think I have been BP for a very long time but was treated for depression instead. This is horrible as anti-depressants are very bad for BP. My children are my reason for writing this post. They have endured me there whole lives as a single mother. They are the most beautiful and patient people I know. They have watched this roller coaster spin out of control and back in for far too long. For the most part we made it pretty good we had our ups and downs but it seems I held it together. Since my illness I have had 2 really bad manic episodes, two attempts at suicide, two hospitalizations. The last suicide attempt was made from my life being so out of control, losing the respect of the person I love more than life itself and an attempt for a relationship. The person I referred to is my oldest child, she has cut me out of her life as well as my grandkids who mean the world to me. You see people with untreated BP do horrible things and it seems we hurt the ones we love the most. We do not intentionally do these things, Lord help us, but it seems to me like it was out of my hands when I was in ones of these moods. I am not trying to assume no blame cause this would be wrong but if you have lived with a BP person you surely understand just what we are capable of doing. Before I became ill I had a thriving cleaning business and was at the top of my game. Now I sit living with my son because this disease has reeked such havoc in my life. I have not slept in 3 nights probably ed up in hospital again. They just recently diagnosed me. They still have me on an anti -depressant cause I was so depressed. I think I came here for some support. I have had no real relationship because we BP people can be quite mean and nasty given half a chance and who would want to stay around if they didn’t have too.This is just a look at BP from a person who has it.
Linny

]]> Comment on Share Your Story by brandon Pepper http://bipolarresources.com/bipolarinformation/2008/07/15/share-your-story/#comment-10393 brandon Pepper Fri, 01 Aug 2008 05:56:59 +0000 http://bipolarresources.com/bipolarinformation/?p=24#comment-10393 Hi my name is Brandon and I am bipolar. I was/am in a relationship with the only person I ever loved. First off I am a prick a asshole and unpersonable I have always been that way, I have always tried to change. There is nothing that i can do to permently stay that way. I have tried my hardest. There is nothing worse than trying your damndest a thousands time over and failing. I have hurt my loved ones, my wife, my family, my friends. I have never been anyone to be proud of, But still it was not for lack of trying. I take more than i give but i still try to give everything. I love my wife so much, but dont know how to show her, or make her happy. My daughter is my pride and joy and i see myself in her more and more everyday, and i can't find the pactionce to play with her. When I think I'm doing good, Its just a little bit better than the worst. i have sevived addictions dead beat fathers, no fathers, broke, outkast drinking , heart attaccks, being by myself..... ect enculuding Bupolar, till now. My life has been a nothing but trying to make people as mirsible as i am, and sucseding I have finaly come to hate myself as much as every one else in my life has. The only option i have is to stop it. The only person that can do it is me, and i will. This is a brief summery of my life. " the confessions of a Bi polar" I write this for my family and hopefully for some one to learn about this. I lived with this for a long time, the only thing that got me this far is the ones i love. "when they loved me" THIS IS NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN DO ALONE DO NOT TRY. IF YOU ARE BIPORLAR AND FEEL THIS WHY GO TO A HOSPTIAL NOW! i GIVE MYSELF AND THIS WRITING TO SHOW YOU HOW BAD IT CAN GET AND HOW TO SAVE YOUR LIFE. Hi my name is Brandon and I am bipolar.

I was/am in a relationship with the only person I ever loved.
First off I am a prick a asshole and unpersonable I have always been that way, I have always tried to change. There is nothing that i can do to permently stay that way. I have tried my hardest. There is nothing worse than trying your damndest a thousands time over and failing. I have hurt my loved ones, my wife, my family, my friends. I have never been anyone to be proud of, But still it was not for lack of trying. I take more than i give but i still try to give everything. I love my wife so much, but dont know how to show her, or make her happy. My daughter is my pride and joy and i see myself in her more and more everyday, and i can’t find the pactionce to play with her. When I think I’m doing good, Its just a little bit better than the worst. i have sevived addictions dead beat fathers, no fathers, broke, outkast drinking , heart attaccks, being by myself….. ect enculuding Bupolar, till now. My life has been a nothing but trying to make people as mirsible as i am, and sucseding I have finaly come to hate myself as much as every one else in my life has. The only option i have is to stop it. The only person that can do it is me, and i will. This is a brief summery of my life. ” the confessions of a Bi polar” I write this for my family and hopefully for some one to learn about this. I lived with this for a long time, the only thing that got me this far is the ones i love. “when they loved me” THIS IS NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN DO ALONE DO NOT TRY. IF YOU ARE BIPORLAR AND FEEL THIS WHY GO TO A HOSPTIAL NOW! i GIVE MYSELF AND THIS WRITING TO SHOW YOU HOW BAD IT CAN GET AND HOW TO SAVE YOUR LIFE.

]]> Comment on Input Needed, Bipolar and Wacky Weed. The Effects Are Horrible by Kate http://bipolarresources.com/bipolarinformation/2007/01/23/input-needed-bipolar-and-wacky-weed-the-effects-are-horrible/#comment-9545 Kate Sun, 13 Jul 2008 03:00:14 +0000 http://bipolarresources.com/bipolarinformation/2007/01/23/input-needed-bipolar-and-wacky-weed-the-effects-are-horrible/#comment-9545 Omg, I know exactly what you are going through. My ex, he was diagnosed with Bipolar II right around the time I was pregnant with our baby. I loved him so much. It has been almost 3 years...and I still love him. But when my ex would smoke pot, he became a raging crazy emotionally abusive, and I am sure physical if I wouldn't have left, person. It was like I never knew him at all. My life has been turned upside down by the illness. Unfortunatly, our daughter now has to grow up without a father because he thinks weed is the way to cure his bipolar disorder. It has been the worst thing in the world for me to endure. Can you imagine God showing you your soul mate, then taking them away? Now I live with the fear of never finding my true soul mate. I agree with the wacky weed. Have you ever thought that the reason he acts that way is because at one point he got some weed with something laced in it? The thought crossed my mind with my ex. Because the change was within a day. One day, we were madly in love, the next, he hated me...up and down all the time. I wonder if someone gave him bad pot. Maybe your brother got a hold of the same batch?! I hope you find some strength to get you through this. I know it is not easy. *HUGS* Hang in there! Omg, I know exactly what you are going through. My ex, he was diagnosed with Bipolar II right around the time I was pregnant with our baby. I loved him so much. It has been almost 3 years…and I still love him. But when my ex would smoke pot, he became a raging crazy emotionally abusive, and I am sure physical if I wouldn’t have left, person. It was like I never knew him at all. My life has been turned upside down by the illness. Unfortunatly, our daughter now has to grow up without a father because he thinks weed is the way to cure his bipolar disorder. It has been the worst thing in the world for me to endure. Can you imagine God showing you your soul mate, then taking them away? Now I live with the fear of never finding my true soul mate.

I agree with the wacky weed. Have you ever thought that the reason he acts that way is because at one point he got some weed with something laced in it? The thought crossed my mind with my ex. Because the change was within a day. One day, we were madly in love, the next, he hated me…up and down all the time. I wonder if someone gave him bad pot. Maybe your brother got a hold of the same batch?! I hope you find some strength to get you through this. I know it is not easy. *HUGS*

Hang in there!

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